害怕

考试结束了，等待的就是presentation。虽然我还没有准备，实在没有心思，考完试至今，不是看书，就是赖床。哈哈哈哈！其实才过了两天。

和ah giap聊天，谈到工作，生活。哎……我有点胆怯。踏入社会，究竟是什么样子？

我不想保留现状。因为，现在的我虽然不需要为生活上的事情负责任，而且，总是过得很逍遥。但是，由于金钱上的束缚，有些事情，我靠着那笔奖学金，是做不了的。所以，开始工作，我就可以开始储蓄。我不需要被功课束缚着。

说是这么说，但是，开始工作也意味着没有时间。届时，想做的事情，可能就渐渐搁下来，然后，被遗忘。是这样的吗？再也没有现在的逍遥，没有现在的自由。

我有一点胆怯，有一点期待，在跨越栏杆的前一刻徘徊。不想保留现状，却不敢向前迈。这，就是我现在的心情。

什么是爱?什么是牺牲?

或许你没有留意,我"For One More Day"的留言里，有位朋友说了，他觉得故事里的主角的妻子离开他，因为她爱得不够，不能和主角一起挨。

什么是爱？什么是牺牲？

爱一定要牺牲？一个女人，一定要为了男人牺牲？在他最困难的时候默默的支持他。为什么从来没有人说，一个男人，要在女人最困难的时候默默的守候她，体谅她？很不公平。

对，我赞成两个人相爱，就应该互相扶持。但是，有时候有些事情变质了。你发现你以前爱的那个人，渐渐消失了。不管你如何努力，劝他，鼓励他，守候他，支持他……你能为他做的，你都做了。别说其他的，说故事里的主角。天天酗酒，没心思於事业，不能接受自己已经未能在球场上大展拳手，却一直陶醉在自己的世界了。忽略了家人，忽略了爱他的人。妻子放弃了，女儿失望了。

妻子离去，应该被责怪吗？

或许更应该说，两个人都有责任挽回婚姻。没有人有资格要另一个人完完全全的牺牲……要别人爱你，你要先爱自己，爱他人。

你说，对不对？

For One More Day

Here I am again, finished another book by Mitch Albom. It's another good book that I'll recommend to all of you, but still, "Tuesdays With Morrie" is the best among the 3 books from him that I've read.

Chick was a baseball player. He once had a happy family until his father left them, without saying anything. So, he became Mama's boy but he didn't really like that idea. He had done and said many things to hurt his elderly mother. He was ashamed by his mother because she was the only divorcee in the small town.

Chick went to college, dropped out of college to be a professional player after his father came back to see him playing and he married Catherine, and had a daugther. He didn't have a good time in the team and he didn't do well in his salesman job too. Everything seems bad to him and he started to drink alcohol. The wife left him and he wasn't even invited to his only daugther's wedding ceremony. He was only "informed".

He realized he was a big failure and he wanted to kill himself. Until then, he saw his dead mother. A ghost? A real person? Was he dead?

Well, read it yourself. ^_^

最后一张试卷

昨晚我异常的早睡，十点半以前我已合上书本，倒头睡觉！早睡早起的感觉非常的好，我已很久很久没有这种习惯。每晚无无聊聊的，就凌晨一两点才上床。浪费了多少时间，也伤害了自己的身体。

几个小时过后，我就会从考场走出来，说：“我考完了”。声音会否带着快乐，其实，我发现也不怎么让人兴奋。（爱媚会打我的）

考完了就不可以让自己懒散下来。我一定要加油！在这里，我会纪录我想做的事，需要做的事，然后好好计划我的假期。

1. 看很多书！（this is always on top of the list）
2. 不要看太多无畏的连续剧
3. 申请中国旅游签证
4. 准备云南旅游的资料
5. 准备FYP Presentation
6. 学骑脚踏车
7. 调理身体（运动！！！、早睡早起）
8. 学做一些简单的料理（自己煮，省钱啊！）

暂时可以想到的就是这些，还有什么我就往里添。朋友们，若你发现我又懒散起来了，记得提醒我。 我很善忘！

^_^

瘾

我是个很容易上瘾的人。似乎每一刻，我都可以找到上瘾的“来源”。

就说昨天吧，我因为写着MJ，就到Youtube找一些好看的clip。结果，上瘾了。我不停地看，几乎把所有我喜爱的MV还有一些他的演出都给看完。并且，从早上至晚上，耳机里重复的只在播麦克的歌曲。

生活上，我上了咖啡瘾。以前我还可以大声骂小鱼，说我不喝都可以，只是喜欢喝而已。但是这个学期开始，我发现我早上要是不喝咖啡，我下午就会打瞌睡。是不是受了父母的影响？他俩一天喝两杯啊！

部落格，也是我的瘾。几乎每天都写，好像有无止境的话题可以让我写。我还经常边做事情，便想着：“啊，这个可以和大家分享”。但是有人说，网络上的部落各有80%是在说谎。我反对！我的绝对真心！而且，以我身边朋友的部落格来看，说谎的八仙率大概是0吧！（不要告诉我n最小要等于30才可以成立，我知道啦！）

我还有很多瘾，小说瘾、戏剧瘾、上网瘾、音乐瘾、张学友瘾、讲话瘾、等等……无止境的“瘾”，让我无时无刻都很occupied。

哈哈哈！

你呢，你上了什么瘾？

有这么一天

有没有想过，有这么一天，你什么都不想做？

我累了，我想休息。有时候，我突然间发觉我忙着一些对自己无关重要的事情。但是，忙完后，别人是否感激你，好像又是另外一回事。长大后了解，好心不一定有好报，你对别人好，别人不一定对你好。虽然如此，从小到大被爸爸灌输的这种原则就是改不了。

我累了，我想休息。

想象着丽江、香格里拉的风景，我要呼吸自由的空气。

让我和自由出走，让我暂时不理会所有……

Earth Song

The Forever King of Pop

I like Michael Jackson, I think he's a legend of music industry. Despite of all the news he had with the kids (yucks!), I like him. Though I'm not his die hard fans, to be honest, I don't really believe in the news. Or to say, I do not know what to believe. Sounds stupid, I know.

Thanks to MJ, we have all the wonderful MTVs to watch along our favourite songs. He's the first singer who started the idea of MTV. And I think, there wasn't any MTV that could beat his. His MTVs are the best to me, always! Thriller(I thought this one was scary when I was young, I mean very very very young), Bad, Billie Jean, Beat It, etc.... None of the MTV I watch nowadays seem to be as meaningful as his, really. Look at those stupid MTVs which show the singers walk around at the street, you know what I mean. I used to have video tapes of his MTV that my cousin, Keat recorded for me.

Despite of the MTVs he made, listen to the songs he wrote. The meaningful lyrics from "Heal the World", "They don't really care about us", "Earth Songs" (the one I played as the background music), I just couldn't help to not believe in the news because of all the lyrics he had written. I know it sounds stupid...

His life, is a tragedy. Not just him, Jackson 5. Being a singer since he was a kid, grew up in the "cacat" family, I believe that's the reason for him being weird. Numerous times of plastic surgeries, "cacat" marriages, weird ways to bring up his child, weird behaviours caught by the paparazzi etc. I hate to believe the fact that all these are true. He's mentally unhealthy because of the childhood he went through. I think.

How could I forget to mention his "moon walk"? It's the best!!! Not just the "moon walk", do you remember seeing MJ performing dance with his body 45deg slanted? How can someone do this? It doesn't obey the law of physics!! What did he do to his body?

I still love his songs though he hasn't been singing for such a long time. I hope he would come to Malaysia or Singapore to hold a concert again, because I really want to watch him live. And I still remember the drawing of his potrait that my cousin, Keat drew for me. I used to paste it on the cover of one of the notebook.

No matter what have the media said of him, to me, MJ is the King of Pop, a legend! Forever...

PS My whole family listen to MJ's songs. Believe it or not, my grandfather used to like him too!

回忆中学老师（一）

我和姐姐在家除了喜欢看戏、听歌、讨论有趣课题、喝茶、被妈妈骂、被爸爸“念”、一起“欺负”阿恩，还有喜欢一起回味中学老师的点点滴滴。今天，我突然想在这里和大家分享。

第一个出现在我脑袋的，是教化学的那两位好老师，P.S Tan 和 Y.T Chua。前者，是教中四、五化学，后者，是教大学先修班。两位都是学校的皇牌老师！

Tan是一位看似凶巴巴，其实是位很好的老师。除了她的教学，她那高八度的声音就是她的招牌。此外，她是“大牌”的代言人。有她说，你就没得说。她的实验课，你要是迟到，她就会发火，真是一分钟都不可以迟。记得有一次，一位“好”老师因为书本在课室里不见了，我们都得留下来帮忙找。所以，全班迟到。老师气个半死。班长马上解释，说是前一科的老师迟了。老师问，“谁？”名字报出来后，老师竟说：“嘎？他？他哪里会教到那么迟？你骗我啊？”我们都不知道是该笑，还是该哭。

还有一次，有一个危险性较高的试验，需要在室外做。而且，只可以做一次，所以，是她的示范，我们在一旁观看。她命我们先把书本带回课室，五分钟后到操场集合。然后以那招牌女高音的声响说：“你们五分钟后不下来，我就给你们一秒成名！”谁敢不相信，当然是五分钟内乖乖集合。

Chua呢，则是一位温和的好老师。她没有招牌女高音的声量，也没有女艺人的大牌，但是，她说话的速度，真是不敢恭维。至今，我认为我们听课写字可以那么快，全靠她的良好训练。老师说话，比子弹火车还快！第一个星期上老师的课时，我们实在是很不习惯。但是，久而久之，我们不只习惯了，还可能有时说话像她一样。Carboksa,既是Carbon Dioksida (二氧化碳);Hydog... (说实在的，我也不懂应该怎么拼才好）=Hydrogen。真是太难拼了，我懒得在写！哈哈哈！此外，这位老师的家，是每位学生新年期间的好去处。每逢农历新年初四，老师就会请客。学生，不管毕业几年，都还是回到老师家拜年。人数多得像嫁女儿一样！我们建议老师明年在外面塔蓬，哈哈，因为家里实在太多人了。

这两位化学教师，真是一流顶尖的好老师。只要是被她二位教的，政府考试那一年的化学甲等八仙率特别高。更别说及格率了。虽然现在已离开学校，学业上也很少再与化学碰面，我仍是非常感激着两位老师。

你们呢？

（这篇应该只有日新被她俩教过的才有共鸣吧！）

粗心大意

有一天，我可能会被我的粗心大意害死！

几乎每一次考完试，我就会大呼小叫，说做错了，完全是因为把题目看错、或是计算机按错、或是把号码写错等等，都是一些很微小，但杀伤力很大的错误！

今天亦如此，我的考试，就是逃不过这场命运。哎……

我粗心大意的故事虽然不够经典，但是，有些却真是完全不能原谅的！记得中五那年，我手中握着那原本还蛮有信心的考卷发神经。成绩虽然还是不太差，但是，我觉得超级羞耻！心想，“超人”（那老师长得很像旧版的superman)肯定在背后笑我！

1+1=3

这是我至今最为羞耻的数学题！！！真是惨不忍睹！