I do have my regrets, and sometimes they came into my mind. Today, I do not know why, I decided to write them down. Maybe because I always believe when you talk them out, they are out of your mind.
You know how people tell you college life is the best time of your life? But you know what? After my graduation, when I started to work, I didn't have any bit of intention to get back to study. Really.
I didn't suffer through the 4 years, they weren't hell, but they weren't heaven too. During my first semester, I somehow managed to get myself into scholarship officer's office to "talk" about my results. Then, in my second semester, I got a book prize and of course I never went into that awful office anymore. But the awful office, was just awful!
Study aside, I wasn't active. Unlike my secondary, I can do everything for my orchestra. But during my college, no activity seems to hold my attention long enough. I didn't join them with my passion, more to just collect some points to stay in the hall. I hate to admit this, but I really hated this kind of intention behind.
I stucked with mostly Malaysian students most of the time until 3rd year of my study, when I went to Beijing. I realized the way I lived my college life was wrong. When I came back to Singapore after internship, I became solitude, I read a lot of self help and inspiration books. 4th year, I moved out from hostel with my friends.
I never got crazy for my entire college life.
I never got as active as I could.
I never got fantastic in academic as well.
The only thing I didn't regret was spending a semester in Beijing. What a shame.
Sometimes I wonder, why my college life didn't sound like me at all? Why would I find it difficult to fit in? And what the hell was wrong with me that I took 4 years to try to fit in?
I can't explain myself.
You know how people tell you college life is the best time of your life? But you know what? After my graduation, when I started to work, I didn't have any bit of intention to get back to study. Really.
I didn't suffer through the 4 years, they weren't hell, but they weren't heaven too. During my first semester, I somehow managed to get myself into scholarship officer's office to "talk" about my results. Then, in my second semester, I got a book prize and of course I never went into that awful office anymore. But the awful office, was just awful!
Study aside, I wasn't active. Unlike my secondary, I can do everything for my orchestra. But during my college, no activity seems to hold my attention long enough. I didn't join them with my passion, more to just collect some points to stay in the hall. I hate to admit this, but I really hated this kind of intention behind.
I stucked with mostly Malaysian students most of the time until 3rd year of my study, when I went to Beijing. I realized the way I lived my college life was wrong. When I came back to Singapore after internship, I became solitude, I read a lot of self help and inspiration books. 4th year, I moved out from hostel with my friends.
I never got crazy for my entire college life.
I never got as active as I could.
I never got fantastic in academic as well.
The only thing I didn't regret was spending a semester in Beijing. What a shame.
Sometimes I wonder, why my college life didn't sound like me at all? Why would I find it difficult to fit in? And what the hell was wrong with me that I took 4 years to try to fit in?
I can't explain myself.
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7 条评论:
Don't beat yourself up. It's instinct for humans to want to fit in. The biggest regret one can have is to dwell in regrets. Enjoy the now and the future! :)
I am, I think I'm much more "crazy" now than in college :P
yeah, agree with hui nee. the past i no more important. You're having a lot of fun, aren't you?
don't worry fong, i'm not really dwelling it, just suddenly thought of sharing this.
Oooh.. the fun u had in Beijing for 1 sem was enough to make up for the lack of activity in college hahaha :)
i am the one who left the comment above - celeste
luckily u left 2nd comment :)
it's great to have you in beijing with me!
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