Ah Ma's Fried Egg

There were always a pile of stools at the corner of the dining room, to cater for the 10 noisy chatter grandchildren in the house. Especially during the weekends.

The radio at the corner was playing my grandmother's favourite radio station. She's always on Chinese station listened to the old tunes while cooking in the kitchen.

My uncle came into the dining room so frequently as if he's restless waiting for the food in the making. Most of the time, just to open the fridge, checked out if there's food, then closed again. A habit he never got off until today.

My grandfather, always occupied a corner of the long dining table with a deck of cards, playing to himself. Sometimes, my cousin, his favourite grandson kept him company. They played something I never thought I would understand. Not because it's complicated, it simply seems lull to me.

I remember there's always a piece of salted fish in the upper deck of the cabinet in dining room. Had my grandmother hid that away on purpose? I've never asked. But I always tried to reach the top with help of stool and stole a few bites.

As dinner time approached, the dining and kitchen got more crowded. The aunts and my mom helped my Ah Ma out in the kitchen. While us, the chatty little ones chased and teased each other in the crowded dining room. We always ended up shouting.

We're a bunch of easily pleased grandchildren back then. A plate of fried eggs will do. But only Ah Ma's fried egg. It's the best fried egg I've ever tried in my 30 years. None of my mom or aunts managed to duplicate it. But Ah Ma said, it's simply oil, egg and salt, and fried them in wok. She never saw why was it so difficult for them.

I don't understand that either. The golden fried egg, with just so enough oil and salt to keep it fragrant and delicious. 

Simple dish is always the most difficult to cook.

So many years have passed, and we're all grown up, we still talked about the fried egg.

My grandmother is old now, she no longer can make us the fried egg. But I think, that plate of fried egg is always the best collective memory we have all had.

Reimagining the layout of the house, the kitchen, the dining room, and the plate of fried eggs for each of us, had made me feel blessed for a wonderful childhood.

A childhood that filled with a plate of fried eggs :)

报应

两年前，我一个人在美国公干的时候，在部落里这样写过。

“我习惯孤单上路。有时候，这是一种选择。可是路程的尽头，我知道，总有人在等我 :)”

今晚，我即将启程到我梦寐以求，神秘浩瀚的蒙古国。我依然孤单上路，在那里有朋友接待。不过，这一次回程，没有人在等我。我家的男人到青海去做义工。原本我想随行，但是义工毕竟是工作多于玩耍。主办当局也不想带个没有经验的人，所以我就这样被踢出局了。

这次回家，家里将会是空空的。我只好等男人回家。

这叫报应。

6 years

Simply want to write something down, it's the 6th year of my working life, in the same company. It's weird because my company had just held a celebration, company wide for those who have hit milestone 5 years and above. I was in part of it. But one week later, it's my 6th.

I'm not going to say it's been a journey with ups and downs anymore, since nobody's journey is without. My 5th going to 6th has taken its toll on me. There was one particular issue that has taken and eaten into me, quite badly compared to whatever I've faced before. I ended up emotionally disturbed, easily got mad and fell sick too. My neighbor was the victim.

Of course after that I told myself to let go. I think I did pretty well, at least I thought.

It's my 6th year today, and I decided to change the habit a little. I hit the gym during lunch hour. Everybody asked me why? I have almost never missed lunch for the past 6 years, because I'm always hungry.

Well, I have tonnes of reasons... I have fats to shed off, It's my 6th year anniversary I can chose to do whatever I want to, I feel like having a change, I am not very hungry... But one reason that I didn't mention publicly was, I want to be alone.

Simply, alone.

It felt pretty good after that. And I'm actually considering changing my habits into lunch time exercise. It's refreshing after the afternoon shower. With that I can have more time for myself in the evening.

Not a bad idea! *wink*

People said you should not settle for good. Great is not good enough, go for the best. It's tough. I would say my work place is not the best. But really, I really love the people I work with. We fight along issues together, we laugh, we share personal problems, we talk crap etc. We're one big family that spend 8 hours together everyday. We're not always happy of course, but we fight, then we forgive. We cried (well... I cried), then we forget.

My boss is not a perfect boss too. But she's so understanding sometimes it caught me by surprise! I can tell her honestly how I feel about my job without worrying that she'll penalize me. Obviously we had disagreements too, but she tolerated my temper. That makes me learn how to control mine, so that I won't hurt her. It's not fair I keep giving out my temper.

My lab, laughed at how silly I was when I joined. Now, I've changed over the years. But still, we laugh together everyday.

There's so much to think every time I hit the anniversary. 11th June.

So much to think.

Married!

Despite of all the uncertainties in myself, we've walked the red carpet, and signed the life long contract.

Yes, signed, and no turning back.

The entire process of getting married was pretty tiring and at the same time exciting. I've got to finally understood what all my married friends gone through. And the feelings they described, not all the same, but yes, now I know how they must have felt at that moment!

The most common question I got when I got back to work after married, was "How do you feel being married?" Unfortunately, I can't put the emotion in words. Yes, we're happily married, but things don't really change a lot since we've been staying together for years.

How do I feel being married? I felt loved. I felt loved not just from the one I signed the contract with, but from families and friends. My friends complained about me not giving the speech on that night, but I guess I could not. If I did, I might be crying. So, let's just leave the talking to the Man.

The wedding dinner, was the one we've always wanted. Mostly casual, our guests were roaming around, talking to friends from other tables, exchanging their own seats to catch up with old friends. It's a wedding dinner + gathering of friends to us. We were busy roaming around too, trying to talk to as much friends as possible, but even with this setting, we still didn't manage to entertain all guests. Really sorry to the guests we've missed.

While we're enjoying the day, we've put stresses on our friends. Poor friends, we're truly sorry. They're the ones who took care of the decoration, the reception tables, the flow of the ROM and dinner, dinner for the live band, the alcohol, the videos etc. This group of friends took off our all stresses so that we didn't have to run around the hotel like mad.

We're really glad our guests left mostly at 10pm onwards. Ever since we're preparing for the wedding dinner, the bridal shop, the photographer, the hotel, the live band etc. were telling us buffet dinner mostly ended at 9-9.30pm. Especially it was a Sunday evening, the dinner will end even earlier. But we guessed the guests enjoyed the night as much as we did, the dinner ended unexpectedly late. We're very happy with that.

With all the blessings from everybody, we're finally becoming Mr & Mrs. Our promise to all of you, we will live happily together, we will not disappoint you :)

How did it happen?

So, at one time you're still thinking, "It's still some time away... Don't worry...". Another minute, you realized it's less than a week from now!

You panic, you freaked out, you tried to squeeze fun time+quiet time+preparation time+working time+relaxing time+friends time+pak tor time+daydreaming time.... in less than a few days.

That, really made me crazy!

My friends made getting married seem so easy. And I on the other hand, made it sounds like a scary thing in my life. I didn't feel much when I was preparing in the past few months. One day, I woke up from my sleep, realized, I'm going to sign the most important signature in my life, not long from now.

That, was the point I freaked out.

But, believe it or not, an afternoon by myself, I calm myself down a bit. So, some alone time did quite a good job I guess :)

不是吧～

又生日了？

去年生日好像才刚刚过，可现在又是一年⋯⋯

今年是我最后一年庆祝二十几岁的生日，说穿了，今年“小妹”二十九。真无奈，青春往哪里跑？都在一年又一年的生日蛋糕里给挥霍掉了。 最后一个二十几岁，是不是应该疯狂两下？

可是，什么叫疯狂？把酒当歌，喝成个醉人才是疯狂？到酒吧和一群陌生人狂欢？抑或是看一场又一场的电影，哭完又笑、笑完再哭，搞到自己人不像人鬼不像鬼？还是，喝咖啡喝通宵？还是，即兴买张机票到天涯海角？（这个像是我会干的事）

二十九岁和二十岁有什么分别？说真的，我还比较现在的我呢。现在的我，有经济能力。我可以去玩，我可以买东西。我竟然还比二十岁的我还放肆。还有朋友称赞我，是个fun的人。 我觉得自己比二十岁的时候有自信。唯一差的，可能是体力和精神。三张靠近了，真的不得不承认体力上是比较吃亏的。而且，鱼尾纹悄悄的报道了。唯有安慰自己，因为天天哈哈大笑，鱼尾纹才提前报道。

想想，这样的二十九岁还不差。

希望我一直fun下去～

吾家有弟初成长

The memories of my little brother crying so hard when I left home for Singapore are still so vivid. That was 9 years ago.

And now, he's the one who left home for university. And lucky enough for him, Selangor is not too far from all of us, we have all came to send him off. Making sure everything is alright before leaving him completely alone in a new place, for the first time in his life.

I'm sure he will be enjoying his uni life soon, making new friends, blending into the environment, making full use of the facilities in the uni etc. And of course, missing all the home cooked food and the warmth at home like we used to be. But I can't help to worry.

The last thing that came into my mind before I slept last night after coming back was, will he be lonely on the first day? The first thing that came into my mind this morning was, will he be waking up on time for orientation?

There had been hiccups, but I'm sure things will be fine. Most importantly we will support him and make sure he won't give up easily!

I wanted so much to hug him before I left, but I didn't because I was so afraid I will cry before I realize. When I left, I cried quietly when nobody noticed. The home will be so much different without him. I know it sounded crazy but I miss him the moment I left KL.

But I know, he's going to have the best 3 years!

天生一对？

两个人在一起，最希望彼此天生一对，两人配合得天衣无缝。

可是，要创造天生一对的情侣不容易。

最好两人的性格一样
最好两人的家庭背景一样
最好两人的宗教信仰一样
最好两人的教育程度一样
最好两人的爱好一样
最好两人对未来的诠释一样
最好⋯⋯
最好⋯⋯

种种条件，要符合所有，几乎不可能。即使是双胞胎，都不可能如此相似，更何况是两个不同家庭长大的人。

结果，在一起的两个人，根本不可能是天生一对。只有努力培养，迁就，配合在一起的情人。成功的，就被誉为“天生一对”。失败的，只好因为“性格不合”而分手。

世上还有没有天生一对，恐怕我越是长大，越是不相信了。

Running in The Rain

Sundown Marathon 2012 is my first marathon in the midnight. When I signed up for this, I didn't know the timing will be this crazy. The past 4 years, I think the race started around 10pm and I thought that was acceptable.

But no, this year they've decided to change to 12.30am. I was shocked, needless to say. But I was excited too, to have a first run at midnight.

For the whole week, it started to pour at night. I was praying hard that it won't happen to us when we're running our half marathon. But clearly the sky didn't hear my prayers (As if I even had one), and it was pouring rain when I entered my 18km.

When it started to drizzle, I ran with my head down, thinking "Shit, I have to get to the finishing line asap." But after a while, I said to myself "What the heck! I'm wet anyway".

I've always been secretly wanting to walk in the rain, without umbrella. Now here I am, running a half marathon in the rain. My dream came true! The only worry I had at that time was my iPhone, but my pouch proved it worth the price that I paid.

I can't describe how beautiful the rain was when I looked up and just let the raindrops falling onto my face. I wish I had a camera to capture the moment.

I didn't regret a single moment that I signed up for this race. I might even considering this for next year :)

Up in the Air

Have you ever let something hang in the air, in between, not spoken, but understood?

Sometimes, I wish I could have just break the unspoken, but I guess, it's for the best.

It's for the best to remain.

Unspoken.

Forever.

French Breakfast

Taken with iPhone and edited on photography apps

Woke up 6.40am this morning to cook breakfast.

Incredible isn't it? I woke up much earlier than I normally do on weekdays. And what I did? Just making breakfast, and enjoyed it together with the Man. And when he set off to work, I turned on the laptop that had been in rest for a few days and started surfing as usual.

It's wonderful sometimes, to wake up early, having some extra time that I don't usually have.

Now, I'll just be waiting for my laundry, listening to Adele in Royal Albert Hall. Maybe, some yoga practice later.

Have a nice weekend ahead peeps!

Oh, by the way, it's really kinda French breakfast that I cooked. It's not a typical French breakfast the French will have. (At least not what I observed when I traveled to France) I named it French breakfast because, I learned the omelet from "French Food at Home", the toasts were French baguette. And the toasts were supposed to go along with the canned food that I bought from France last October :)

Emptiness

I have not been turning on my laptop for a few days, I guess it was two or three days. And I came home every night, disciplined myself to shower. Then, I sunk myself into the beanbag, picked up Lone Wolf to read.

Jodi Picoult is the only author that hasn't failed to make me cry in her every single book. Mind you, every single one. I remember reading Songs of Humpback Whale on my way to the States, crying through most of the part that made the guy beside me looking at me curiously most of the time. (I tend to cry even more easily on the plane. Why is that so?) Then, to make the matter worse, I read Sing You Home on my way back to Singapore for the same trip.

Currently, she is the only author I don't miss any single of her new release. Of course, my sister too. We're suckers for her book!

I hate it when I finished her books. I wish I have something that is as good as her books to read on. But it's hard to come by. Sometimes I wish to read her book slowly, so that the feeling of "emptiness" doesn't come so soon. But somehow, I just continue flipping through the pages. And sometimes didn't even realize it was already past midnight.

Today, I decided I should go to Kinokuniya to look for something good. It's just been one morning without a good book, and I've already felt empty.

杂想

终于回到家了。

家里一切还是一样，还是一样一尘不染，还是一样舒服。永远不会肚子饿，也永远不想离开。妈妈真的持家有道。

近来忙得很，没有好好把思绪整理，更甭想把他们写下，结果，一团糟。

朋友要宴请，我问她，你会不会请A君、B君、C君⋯⋯都是多年不见，失去联络多时的朋友。但是，都是曾经的好朋友。答案往往是不知道。其实，也不过想借机会知道，到时候的我，又该怎么办。

曾经，我定下的“条规”是如此，一年或更久不见面不联络的朋友，就不用请了。不过，更深一层地想，这个定下的条规一点都行不通。好像，太不近人情了⋯⋯以我们的生活步伐，其实，好多朋友，都是一年或以上都不联络的。

后来，我定下了所谓“更理想的条规”。列下一个宴请名单，每个名字，都想一想这个问题。

“如果，‘大吉利是’某某君有天离开人世，你会如何？”
A非常惋惜
B伤心，后悔当初没有更常联络
C非常伤心，大哭一场，恨他为什么就这样离开⋯⋯

如果你选C，我看这位朋友，你还是请吧。（当然，有更多不同的反应，不过是举个例子，请自己衡量）

有些人，即使你不联络，可能三年、五年，你永远关心他。从别人的口中得知他的消息，你还是为他开心，衷心祝福他。这种朋友是缘分吧，或许见面的时间不多，但是，有些人有些事，并不用时间来衡量。

我没有名单，可是我知道，我有这样的一些朋友的存在。

你呢？

不要浪费力气

生气是一种很浪费力气的事情。

我决定节省能源。

睇到你前边，憎到你后边

今天才明白，这句话是有道理的。

当你不喜欢一个人，不管他做什么，不管什么情况，就是看不顺眼。即使是一丁点小事，也会让你觉得那是眼中的一根刺。

跑半个马拉松

这不是我的第一次，但我也不是特别有经验，才第三次而已。

第一次的经验是惨痛的，我的膝盖在5公里以后竟然不听使唤，痛起来。我原本想开始走路，可是想到前方有16公里的路要走，可是很远哦，只好继续跑。到了不知道多远，才开始走路。

第二次有备而来，进步了，但是就埋怨路途的斜坡太多，跑得太累。

第三次，我已经知道路线和去年一样，一早做好斜坡很多的心理准备，只是一直祈祷不要下雨。果然没下，好开心。只是因为意外、旅行、再加上懒惰，没什么练习，又比去年差了。

因为已经有了心理准备，再加上同事一直告诉我，不管多慢都要跑，开始走路以后就很难再跑了。我撑着撑着，也跑了14、15公里吧。正当我在跑着的当儿，我发现自己只要撑过上斜坡的路，路途就很好过。所以，我的马拉松啊，就是这样⋯⋯好痛苦啊～～～～咦，好可以哦～～～～好痛苦啊～～～～咦，还可以哦～～～～这样一来一回，“惨痛”的跑完。

我一面跑，一面想到我的工作，也是一样，痛苦了一阵，然后又轻松，然后又是一轮，再一轮，再一轮⋯⋯（脸上的青春痘也一样）只要撑得过，没有什么是解决不了的问题。只要努力，一切是会过去的。只要保持正面的态度，日子会好过一点。自己好过，身边的人才不会痛苦。

跑了半个马拉松，这是我要提醒我自己的话。

当然，我也要提醒自己，以后不要“ke gao gao”，没有训练就跑马拉松！膝盖承受不了，意志力也不够坚持！

男人贵在潇洒

最近，我发现原来我真的不能忍耐婆婆妈妈的男人。

很多时候，女人比较犹豫不决（普遍上而已，并非所有）。遇到什么事情，总是左右为难，做不了决定。尤其像我这种人，老是希望可以两全其美，又担心得罪人，总是做不了决定，总是犹豫。在这种时候，我总是比较喜欢有个人站出来决定，说：“就这样吧！”。

当我遇上一群比我还要犹豫的女生，我会在适当的时候，帮姐妹们决定。但是，我不会忍受不了姐妹们的犹豫。反之，如果对方是男生，我可会抓狂！你可以说我discriminate。我不否认。

比起犹豫不决，我更不能忍受男人行动慢。我可以等女生洗澡，我可以等女生打扮，我可以等女生上厕所⋯⋯可是，来个男人让我等上十分钟，可就不行了！不是我只给他十分钟，而是他比我用多十分钟。不能接受。

这种男人的女伴，一定要有一定的耐性。

还好，我的男人等我，不是我等他。

自得其乐

中文是这么好听，叫自得其乐。套句我们常用的话，叫shiok sendiri。表面意义一样，却完全没有一丝文绉绉的感觉。

从2005年开始，在北京学会了到处游走。旅行这些年，我发觉我学会了自得其乐。

路途颠簸，五脏六腑都被蹬出来，这叫体验。
迷路走远路，以致目的地好像永远不会到，我们说看沿途好风景。
等待的时间长，那就把相机拿出来玩，或是写写日记。
⋯⋯
反正后来，这些沿途小事，会成为美好的回忆，也是很好的饭后话题。

你看，沿途不忘自得其乐，一切就好似称心如意。

心态

有些人做起工来特别爱埋怨。

曾经有人跟我抱怨：“唉，真没意思，拿一点点薪水，每天都得烦别人的事。”
我说：“你可以换工啊！找个高薪的工作。”
他说：“市道不好啊小姐！有些工作很压力的。”
我有点不耐烦了，“先生，拿人钱财，替人消灾。公司总不能白白给钱。既然领钱，当然得烦。不想烦别人的事，就自己做老板咯！我肯定那时你天天只烦自己的事。”

我不喜欢在工作的时候有人向我抱怨。工作是不容易，生活本来就不容易。既然如此，倒不如看开点？

其实换一换心态，工作没那么难做的。生活也就快乐很多。

我28岁了

爸爸10月9日晚上打电话回来，祝我生日快乐。

我抗议：“还没有到啦！”
爸爸说：“我怕忘记，先打来。”

哈哈！爸爸提醒我，我的生日是辛亥革命，也是台湾国庆日。呵呵，爸爸的中国近代历史特好，没办法。

28岁了，昨晚毓豪问我有什么愿望。我想一下，原来我不知道我有什么愿望。小时候生日愿望很简单，不过是想要有哪个玩具，哪个书包，哪个游戏机⋯⋯一大堆不知所谓的东西。大一点，我希望考试可以顺顺利利的过。再大一点，希望可以进大学。再大一点，希望工作顺利。（一些不知所谓的东西还是有的，不过就免提了）

再大一点⋯⋯我没有什么愿望，不过是希望我和身边所有人（伴侣、家人、亲戚、朋友、同事）都健康平安快乐。自己一个人快乐是不够的，所以，大家都一起来，最欢乐。不是吗？

28岁了，回头望，从大学毕业以后，我把一生的“事业”，都放在玩乐。真的，就是玩乐。不要羡慕我，不是因为我特有钱，而是因为我特舍得。还可以玩乐几年，就是几年，玩吧！

28岁了，展望的几年，想要做什么？说我没有想过，当然是骗人。要我讲？也就算了。太懒惰，长篇大论又何必？

28岁了，踏入28岁前一周，竟然来场意外。身边人给予的关心满满，让我复原的快。平日举手可做的事，在这周内有时候是不方便到让人难以启齿。要人帮忙，问多几次又不好意思。硬着头皮来，又不能。所以，平时给予别人一点点方便，真的可以帮人很多。

28岁了，我最怕的竟然是我的运气几时会用完？这次小伤真是不幸中的大幸！现在过马路，我的反应偶尔会迟钝。站在路边看着飞驰的车辆，我会担心“这种速度撞下去，飞到十万八千里去，哪里还有命？”

28岁了，说老不老，说小不小，真尴尬。

28岁了⋯⋯

思绪混乱，我还要做的事很多，我要得做的事很多，我要看得还很多，我要玩得还很多，我要学得还很多⋯⋯所以，我会继续好好的生活！

大家一起加油！

（对于我的语无伦次，抱歉了！）