2008 is Coming to An END

I can't believe it, that I am now sitting in the dark with my dad's lappie in the room, typing this blog as it is the 2nd last day of year 2008. I'm a little bit nervous to welcome the arrival of 2009 so soon, too soon.

As everybody has predicted that 2009 will have an even worse economic crisis compared to 2008. As a relatively newbie to the society, I have the fear to face this. I am lack of courage. However, my dad and sister had been a very positive role model in this. How can I ever forget there are role models at home, that I can learn from. Sometimes through words, sometimes through actions.

I have not been very matured in my first year and a half at work. There are lots of problems that I faced from time to time, that I think I could have handled them with a more professional way. I could have seek advice from fellow colleagues earlier than I did sometimes, but I didn't because I have pride that I think I can do it by myself. Sometimes I learn it a hard way to get things done, but along the way, I really appreciate people whom offered helping hands from time to time. Nobody in this world can handle everything by his/her own, seeking advice and admit one's limitation ain't going to kill anybody! Remember this! (I'm just talking to myself)

I admit, I have not been very sensitive to my dollars and cents in the past one year. I was even less sensitive compared to my 4 years in university, this is not a very good sign. The angel and demon in my body were having a tug of war all the time. The angel always reminds me of my planning and records, while the demon pulled me into laziness. Well, the demon won for a year, and I have decided to let angel win in the coming years. In the current economic status, nobody can wait and let things happen.

It has come to a point that I realized I'm at the age of no turning back. I'm no longer very young, and this is the golden time to strive for things I want in my life. Dreams that I have had since young. Of course, all the dreams need to be evaluated. Plans are needed and courages are required to execute for a change. Things that had happened in Malaysia and US are examples of will power can bring changes, don't they? History that opposition parties have made, are the first step to change. For better or worse, we'll see. I had written some plans in my little green note pad previously, on Jan when I got back to Singapore, I will spend another weekend to look at the plans thoroughly, and start executing them one by one based on priority.

I'm at the age of no turning back. This is the time, to have what I want to have, to be who I want to be. Don't be envious and jealous to other's success. I too can make a difference in myself, I don't have to be jealous as I sometimes did. One should be sincerely happy for a friend's success and happiness.

My relationship with my family is as strong as ever. But I did something hurtful to my dad my passing some stupid "humour" jokes about dollars and cents, I did not have the guts to say sorry face to face to him. I hope he forgive me by reading my email after the incident. Home trips are always the most joyous moments I enjoy. Spending time with my parents at the dining table, playing games with my siblings, shopping with my aunt and cousins, having meals together, going to cinema together, every simple things that had happened, had made my life better. I know if I ever need help, these people will always stand by me. If my family ever needs help, I will always give support. They are the best thing in my life.

Year 2008 was the 5th year of my relationship with Yee Hau. Looking back to myself back then, so immature in handling relationship, I think he had put in a lot of efforts in enduring the emotional part of me. I appreciate him as an honest and open person, who will never hide his opinions to me. Direct opinions often hurt, but after calming myself, I often found that he made the points, especially when I'm being not realistics. I am not afraid to commit that he is going to be my life long companion, a good partner and a good friend. But wedding that needs to spend money will have to wait. Commitments can be made without wedding dinner and ceremony. Commiments of two persons to spend a life time together are made with hearts.

I don't have to tell you what are my plans in 2009, especially there are some ammendments needed. But if you ever found that laziness had crawling into my soul, please remind me, that I'm at the age of no turning back.

Looking back at 2008, I have lots of joyous moments as ever. Family and friends are always around, to fill me with love and care. Though I have to learn things from the hard way sometimes, but it's a learning at the end of the day. As long as I remember them, learn them by heart, I am sure I will be better every day, every year.

Since I will not be able to blog on the first day of year 2009, I will wish everybody Happy New Year in advance. May all you dreams come true!

Happy New Year!