Detach

I mentioned about detach from desires and wants. Of course, like any other things in the world, it is always easier to say than do. Don't you think so?

Hm... Maybe not.

I let my thoughts wandered around the things that had happened in my life, those past "achievements" (They might not be achievements in your point of view, but they were the moments I felt joy) that I have had. These achievements, they seem to be incidents that caught me in surprises when they came to me. They always got my feet jumping in the air, or secretly drawing a smile of my face when I turned around... I always thought I was plainly, very lucky!

Not until I found that these "achievements", they have a same denominator. Before revealing what is the common ground of these achievements, please allow me to share some of the moments.

I won a price in Solo for Plucking Instrument in 1999. That little prize, had got on my nerves! Yes, I was very happy to be able to win one, but I was so afraid if the judges would let me get into finals, plainly because I was never prepared for it, I can't even memorize the score of the song that I submitted as final. Lucky or unlucky, I got into semifinals only. I never prepared for the prize.

I have been to two scholarship interviews after the release of STPM results. One will think I'm a weirdo, but I want to tell you, I kinda... liked to be interviewed. I enjoyed both scholarship interviews, ASEAN and Hong Kong Baptist University. Both U offered totally different courses. ASEAN offered me the Materials Science and Engineering in NTU while HK Baptist University offered me Mass Communication (Journalist Study). To my surprise, HKBU offered me the scholarship the very evening after my interview in the afternoon. I was very delighted, although I rejected at the end of it. I never prepared for this, I applied scholarships just for trying out purpose.

The above and many others, are things that totally caught me off guarded, in a good way of course. Like I mentioned earlier, I have always thought I was plainly lucky.

But come to think of it, I was actually working hard towards them. Take the solo competition as an example. I didn't prepare myself for winning a solo competition, but I trained and practiced very hard for the Orchestral competition. I love music, I love my JSCO, I love them so much, I dedicated 90% of my teenager time to them. All the training, practices, dedications, were the preparation for the prize after all, without me realizing that.

Isn't that an example of detaching? I think it is. At least to me.

Maybe that's a moment of "enlightened", I realize the desire to something, will not get you there, but a dedication to a value will.

I found myself smiling when I realized this.