Memories...

Memories flash back with a little of feeling, especially the one that goes down.

Unlike the movies, my memories never come to me with a smell, a food, a taste, a colour etc. I wonder whose will? They always come suddenly, along with tears.

It is strange enough, memories seldom come merrily. But they are mostly those episodes, of a little ups and downs.

I walked home from MRT station as usual. But what I saw, were not cars and traffic jams, but pieces of music in DSP, tears from my team members, broken hearts and hard lessons learned for the fact that games are never fair. And often, the adults are playing their own board games, and we're just the little green soldiers. I felt the heart broken still, and I thought I was back in 16 year old.

Suddenly, I remember the touch from snow, for the first time on my nose. I thought I wasn't in Singapore for the moment.

Then, I remember the times in uni, that dinners were served with tears. Dinners were never served on dining table with family you love, but on the study table with a couple of meaningless dramas that portrait some families having their dinner together. How I wish I was never here.

Suddenly, I remember the scenery of The Great Wall which came along with "The Great Wall" music pieces. I wished there were real soldiers. I always imagine.

I remember, clearly how so many of us packed ourselves into a small hotel room in Park Royal Penang when we're having longest holidays. We chatted like no tomorrow, and we tasted sea water with some banana splits. That was, the greatest time I had with them.

Suddenly, I remember how Yee Hau tucked me in when I'm shivering on winter of Beijing. And I remember how I missed him when we're apart. Sometimes I still wish I could miss him this way.

I remember I cried over for Dajie's stories. I cried so hard, that I forgot those weren't happening on me. And I thought, I really love her, that she's a part of me, though we're apart.

I reached for my keys mechanically. And I entered my room with some tears rolling down. For what reason? I never understand. That is the time I wish I study psychology to understand what is there in my mind. Why do the tears come when I'm living absolutely fine?

Memories never end because we never stop making new episode everyday...

What are yours today?